I figured it out

A while ago, I applied to be featured in a magazine I like. I probably won't get in--they can only choose 36 girls, and I've read on their website that thousands apply--but last night, lying in bed at 11:30, I figured out why I really want to be featured, why I want to be chosen to go to California to be interviewed, to meet 35 other girls and go bowling, or do yoga on the beach, or one of those fun behind-the-scenes activities that the editors show in the magazine.

It's not just the reasons above. It's something more. 

All those girls featured in the magazine--they give to charity, they act professionally, they sing in front of thousands of people, they run their own business, they excel at seemingly everything they do. I'm not like that.

I climb and I love it, but the highest I've ever placed at a comp is fourth. I'm not an amazing climber yet. (emphasis on yet)

I don't run a business, or sing onstage, or have my drawings featured in art shows.

The girls in the magazines--they're like superhumans. They appear to do everything right.

If I get into the magazine, I will tell the people who interview me that hey, I'm nowhere near perfect, I don't do amazing things, I only have one passion, which is climbing. I want the other girls out there who are like me, who are only human, to know that they can be in a magazine too. That they don't have to be a role model for every single person they meet, that it's okay if you haven't done something 100% awesome. You can just be you, and not have to worry that all these other girls are doing incredible things, and still have a two-page profile in a popular tween magazine.

It's great if you are one of those girls (or boys) who does great things; I totally support you. But most of us--we're just twelve years old, we're kind of unsure of what we're going to do with the rest of our lives. We aren't amazing yet. Maybe someday. 

Someday.